The Destructive Forces of Memory
by NirallaNocturne
Summary: Yuna disappears shortly after defeating Vegnagun, leaving Spira in a state of upheaval. When trouble starts brewing in the Farplane, Dona recruits a skeptical Leblanc to help her find the missing High Summoner. Are either of them truly ready to uncover the secrets that still lie underneath Spira's surface? Completely ignores everything that happens after beating Vegnagun.


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X-2 or the characters herein. I also don't profit from this story, so please don't sue me. I'm entitled to write this fanfiction via Fair Use laws.

* * *

I Sent Shuyin to the Farplane after I destroyed Vegnagun.

I felt clumsy and incompetent, like an apprentice stumbling her way through a dance she had no business performing, but I knew it would work all the same. No Summoner forgets how to do a Sending, no matter how long they go without performing one; it's almost offensive for us to even think about forgetting. Summoners don't quit, not even if they want to, not even if there's nothing to Summon and no Sin to kill.

But I wanted to forget that. I wanted to forget that there was once a time when Sendings were so common that Summoners knew they'd never have the opportunity to forget them. It's been two years since we defeated Sin - almost three now - but even so, I worked so hard to defeat Sin that I wasn't able to imagine a life without Sendings. When I finally got that life - when I finally realized I could stop dancing - I cried, too happy to contain myself.

And then I found myself dancing again.

I danced for the sake of someone who tried to kill everyone and everything I ever loved, to ensure Shuyin never had the opportunity to get his hands on Vegnagun again. I didn't want him to come back and attempt this all over again, no matter how much "closure" I thought he might have received.

Kimahri found that sphere nestled in a grotto beside the Mt. Gagazet hot springs. He knew I would want to see it the minute he laid eyes on you. He gave it to Rikku, knowing she would give it back to me and knowing that I would stop at nothing to find out what the sphere meant when she did.

He knows me well. Probably better than anyone, really.

I could bear seeing you disappear after we defeated Sin and sent the Fayth. I could accept the idea that you might not have ever truly existed in the first place. My dreams of you never went away – I don't think they ever will – but I found ways to reconcile them with what I knew. But I couldn't justify seeing you in that gaol, struggling fruitlessly against your chains and cursing Bevelle for ripping you away from "the Summoner" you tried to protect. I knew I'd never be able to forgive myself if you were actually languishing away in a jail cell for helping me, even if I didn't know how you ended up there to start with. I didn't ask permission because I didn't need it and I didn't want it. Wakka may have disapproved, and Lulu may have wanted to give me an earful for running off without telling anyone, but I knew they'd understand once they saw the sphere. I think Wakka was a little disappointed he didn't get to go with me.

You never looked at anything with so much hatred and disgust in your eyes, not even Seymour. In fact, a part of me wondered if you were even capable of hating anyone back when we were together; but he wore hatred like it was something he was proud of. He hated everything so much that it became a part of him. I thought maybe I could ease that hatred if I pretended to be someone I wasn't, but he saw through my disguises more easily than I want to admit.

So then, I defeated Vegnagun. I performed the Sending. And unlike the other Sendings I performed, the ones where innocent people died and families grieved, I found myself glad that he was gone.

* * *

Rikku and Paine left without me. I stayed to ensure that Shuyin didn't come back. (I don't think he even wanted to.) When it was over, I watched the remaining pyreflies hover over me. They illuminated what remained of Vegnagun's tusks, frail-looking chunks of metal lying abandoned next to us.

I knew from experience that Vegnagun was anything but frail. How could any of it still be recognizable after everything we did? I tried to swallow the fear that bubbled up in the pit of my gut; then, failing that, I let out a scream and collapsed on the ground.

"When is this going to be over?" I demanded. My knees bled from the impact. "Answer me! Someone answer me!"

"There's no one here but you, Lady Yuna."

I turned my head. A girl with long, black hair stared at me from a few feet away. My eyes widened. "What - ?"

"You did very well." She wrapped her arms around my waist, her hair falling in loose waves around her face. I tried not to let fear turn my stomach. "You're afraid."

"I..." I knew her. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew her very well. "You tried to kill us. Or something that looked like you did. Back in Besaid Temple."

"Yes. I'm sorry about that." She looked up at me. "You remember me, don't you?"

"I don't know if I do or not."

"Trust your eyes." She looked up at me through her hair. "They won't lie to you this time."

I took a deep breath, held it for a minute. Then, I opened my eyes and looked at the girl, looked at the way she buried her face in my stomach, and let it out. "Valefor. Your name is Valefor."

She nodded. I felt my stomach drop.

* * *

We stood there in silence for a few minutes.

My questions lingered between us, made the minutes that passed feel like hours. I wasn't sure whether or not any of them were appropriate to ask, wasn't even sure if they were intelligible enough to warrant discussion. I had to say something, but I didn't know what to say, couldn't even bring myself to look her in the eye. I found myself wishing she would let go of me and disappear like she had before.

"Why are you here?" The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. "You shouldn't be."

I didn't want her to be there. I wasn't happy to see her, wasn't sure anyone would be given the circumstances. Would she attack me? Was she going to attack Paine or Rikku? What about Baralai and Gippal, who were still injured in the primordial Farplane Tunnels? What about the sacrifices I made in order to save Spira? I thought of you and felt long-buried anger bubble its way to the surface.

"I mean you no harm, Lady Yuna." She wrapped her arms around my waist. Her head rested on my stomach. "None of us do. We're done hurting you."

I swallowed the tears that threatened to spill out. "I thought you disappeared."

"Not quite. We went to sleep." She looked up at me, her eyes wide and sad in the pyrefly light. "We woke up to stop him and lost control of ourselves. We're sorry for that."

"Oh." I felt small, like an ant under someone else's boot. "Is it over?"

"Yes, it is. Shuyin's gone." Her hair tickled the backs of my arms. "He wouldn't have faded on his own until he saw Lenne again... but we couldn't make that happen. You gave him peace, Lady Yuna."

Peace was the last thing I wanted for Shuyin, but I wasn't about to say that to her. It wasn't my job to determine who got peace. "What about Vegnagun?"

"Vegnagun is in pieces, and no one but Shuyin knows how to put it back together again." She let me go and stepped away from me. "And he'll never set foot outside the Farplane ever again. We'll make sure of that."

"Will anyone ever figure out how?" I asked. "We didn't destroy it entirely, did we?"

"No, you didn't." She lowered her face again. "I don't think Vegnagun can be destroyed. Not completely."

"Then..." I let out a shaky breath. "I'll have to fight it again someday, won't I?"

"That's your choice." She looked away. "You still want to see Tidus, don't you?"

My breath caught in my throat. "Can I?"

"Yes, you can." She stretched out her hand. "I can't promise you more than that, but I can let you see him. It's the least I can do."

"What do you mean?"

"You of all people should understand what I mean. Sin may not be eternal, but death certainly is." Valefor averted her eyes. "Tidus came with us when we stopped dreaming. You'll never be with him so long as you're still alive."

I knew that - or at least, I should have. "Why even bother bringing him up, then?"

"Because he... wanted to say something to you."

I pushed Valefor away and walked towards the portal, my eyes burning. "I'm leaving."

"Wait - "

"Either tell me what you want or leave me alone!" My voice wavered. "Please. I Sent you once. I can do it again. Just tell me what you want."

"We want..." Valefor shook her head. "It's better if we show you, Lady Yuna."

She grabbed my hand, held it close to her chest. "Please don't be angry at us."

* * *

And then, we were no longer in the Farplane. Instead, we were... in Macalania.

The woods faded more with every passing day, though enough remained for me to recognize where I'd ended up. I stood in a pond just outside Bevelle. I never visited that place. I think a part of me wondered if it would melt right in front of my eyes. I wanted it to disappear without me having to pay attention, even if that meant I'd never see it again.

But it didn't melt. In fact, apart from the sunlight glaring over my head, it was almost too perfectly preserved, like someone had taken a sphere of it and placed it among the ruins - a giant sphere that always played, no matter how many times the player tried to turn it off.

"You remember this place."

I shouldn't have been surprised that Valefor remembered it too. "Where are Rikku and Paine?"

"This isn't meant for them. Only you."

"I... see." I looked around. "Where is he?"

"He isn't here, Yuna."

I thought as much. "You told me I could see him again."

"Because he wanted me to give you something." She pointed to a tree on the far side of the alcove, her eyes glimmering in the burning sunlight that filtered through the trees. "Do you see it?"

I caught the glimmer of pyreflies from the corner of my eye. "Is that...?"

"Go."

I rushed over to the tree and felt around, my heart in my throat, until at last my fingers found what they were looking for: a misshapen, cracked sphere wedged under a tree root. "How long has this been here?" I turned around, expecting her to answer.

But she was gone.

I held the sphere in my hands for a few seconds, trying to figure it out. Then, I turned it on.

I saw you for the first time in two years – you, staring directly into sphere-recorder. Your eyes glimmered in the light of the pyreflies, just as blue as they always were.

"If you're watching this, Yuna, then we've defeated Sin." You laughed and ran your fingers through your hair, your eyes lit up with humor. "And... you're probably angry at me for lying to you."

Angry didn't even begin to cover it. I raged at you after my speech in Luca, so furious I couldn't see straight.

"I'm a little angry at myself too," you admitted. "I tried to tell you the truth, but I couldn't find it in me to hurt you like that. I'm going to die once we defeat Sin, and there's nothing any of us can do about it. It's pretty complicated - " he lowered his eyes and blushed, "- but I know that much. I had a dream about it... well, I guess that's not really enough evidence, is it?

"Sorry. Let me do that part over." The screen switched off for a moment, then switched back on.

"The thing is... I'm afraid to tell you this because I know it might make it harder for you to fight Sin. I'm afraid to tell you how I feel – how I really feel – because I know it'll make it harder for you once this is all over. And I'm afraid that once this is all over, I won't even die. I'll just... stop existing. But even though I'm afraid, I know we have to defeat Sin. I'm willing to make that sacrifice." He looked into the camera again. "And I know you'd agree with me if you had time to think about it, but we don't have time. We've already wasted enough time as it is.

"I don't want to die without saying this before I go." You took a deep breath. "I love you, Yuna. You're strong. You're brave. And I know you'll defeat Sin. Now isn't the right time to tell you how I feel – maybe there won't ever be a right time – but I know I'd regret leaving you without saying that, no matter how you felt. Saying it in a sphere is better than nothing, isn't it?

"Please, don't regret defeating Sin. Don't regret letting me die to do that. And even if you do love me back... don't let me keep you from being happy. You, of all people, deserve to be happy."

The sphere stopped there. I restarted it and stared at your face a little longer, surprised by how much I didn't remember. Your eyes glowed with a kind of ethereal light, one that went beyond pyreflies and moonlight and the glare of the sphere-recorder reflected off the ice. Did I ever notice how unreal you were? Did I ever noticed the sadness that lingered in your eyes, buried underneath laughter and kindness? Did I ever notice the dark circles that lingered under your eyelids, or were my eyes too tired to even register that?

"You idiot." Tears flowed down my cheeks. "How am I supposed to be happy without you?"

I stayed with that sphere for hours.


End file.
